Step-Parenting.

Since December 2012, I have been a step-parent.

Through that time, I have had many questions asked to me like, how do you manage it, do you struggle, are you happy, do you love them, do you connect with them and many more. Some questions, I have merely just laughed when reading them, or laughed in peoples faces, or some have even left me asking myself the same questions.

Step-parenting IS difficult. I cannot deny that. My journey with Trinity and Xander is merely just beginning and has taken time to build this relationship, and will still take more developing.

Our beautiful journey, started a lot with questions. Not even from myself but more from my partner. I think those questions still replay in his head a lot.

One of the biggest, being if we see a future together, which was easily answered, and then how to make it work. This question was not so easy and still is being discussed.

Many discipline changes, diet changes, and life style changes later, some of these questions still have no answer, but most do now.

Trinity, has always been connected to me, but always had questions herself. She found it very difficult.

More so because she still has a Mum, still has a Dad, but now also has another parent.

Step parenting can be a very big lifestyle change that kids will take a very long time to understand.

One very big question she still asks today is "why can't Mummy and Daddy be together anymore,"

Luckily Adrian, and myself discussed how I would approach this question to her if I was ever asked.

Trinity still to the day is puzzled by this. As she has said "Mummy loves me, and Daddy loves me so they should be together right?" and to a simple response Adrian has answered, "Well Emma loves you, and Daddy loves you, and we love each other which is why we are together." She will then go on a tangent and explain how cool it is to have 3 parents and not just 2. Still the question is asked, now days not so much for understanding, but to break us in a sense.

Trinity, by far is still very much struggling. Behavior being mostly the worst.

She hasn't adapted into schooling as well as I would of imagined. There are reasons I would like to express, but choose not to as respect for Trinity. These hurdles are slowly being over-come.

There has been a lot recently that has affected her lifestyle.

Affected her sleep pattern, feeling of love, and feeling of belonging. We have split custody, from Monday until Monday, and then swap. One week each per side of the family.

Adrian recently started work, the big change for Trinity to start school.

AND then the big one, being in two completely different households each week in regards to diet, rules, leniency, efficiency, routine and affection.

Unfortunately, I would like to say both houses are perfect, but honestly, what household is?

I know I try my best, but some things do slip under the radar.

We have recently started a new system that has started to work magic, but at the same time started to create more confusion as well hurt, hurt being more from confusion as to why the change, but they quickly remember why, which is their behaviour.

Xander, on the other hand, has been really sick off and on. from colds, to constipation and diarrhea. Simply child stress, and two different diets each week. I have to admit, this is something that constantly makes me worried. This week he was very sick, and took a week off Kindergarten to recuperate, catch up from lack of sleep etc. My poor boy was very unwell. Constantly sleeping, spewing, running fevers, in pain. Everything. Nothing out of the norm for us though.

Xander is constantly up and down, development has been slow, despite how much I work with him despite that it is fun. On our last formal report, we got area's that need work on. Like teaching him personal space, and to be more interactive and creative with his play. Hence why I made his chalkboards table, which was quickly broken by Trinity out of jealously. I wouldn't normally say jealousy, but sometimes with Trinity, that is purely what it is.

Both children, crave attention from us, to a point that starts to get to a line.

A line where we cannot give anymore.

New toys, new this, new that. Driving to see people constantly, and being out and about constantly is what they constantly crave for attention. Something to us that is simply not in the budget, nor a healthy lifestyle. It is quite inappropriate to the point, that most nights she will wake herself up at 3 am, wake us up and ask to go for a drive "just to see someone."

Not everything is bad though, we have really good moments as well.

Both children have really good days, really off days, and meeting in the middle kind of days.

Our good days are normally Sundays on Family Day, where we go to the pool, take a drive to a nearby town, go to the zoo, or see family.

Like today we quickly popped over to Casterton to see their God Parents.

A good day, resulting in two children who had been playing in the mud...

So to answer the questions.

Do I enjoy being a step-parent? Hell yes, it is the most rewarding experience I have ever had in my life. Yes there have been a lot of low points, but the up points are the most rewarding.

How do I manage? Every morning, I wake up to a quote on my phone, "You are just as important as a Mother or a Father" which is exactly how I see it. I may not of given birth to either of them, but I am still there every morning, every night and providing the same things as a Mum or a Dad to them.

These kids may sometimes wonder why I am here, but I know they love me and everyday are thankful that I am in their lives.

Our next milestone, will be whenever Adrian and I choose to have our own children.

Something I do not want at this stage.

Previously I did, but I don't feel it is the right time for Trinity and Xander, considering how much attention they are already craving minus a 3rd child in the house.

I am happy with my two children for now.

They are a blessing, and for now, all they have to worry about is nothing but being happy and growing into beautiful children.