Mum Blues.

I think I am coming down with a small case of Mum Blues.

Yep, and I am not afraid to admit it.

I will admit it's not depression, I am just sad at how quick Eleanor is growing, and the fact time is disappearing so quickly. Why does it have to go so quick?

It feels honestly like it was only yesterday that I was holding my little newborn baby. All the love I was filled with. I felt on top of the world.

Is it true when they say that in a blink of an eye they are moving out? I don't want it to be a blink.

In all honesty, my biggest regret is not keeping track of these beautiful memories. I have a baby book, I have her health record, I have photo's but I still feel like it isn't enough. I feel as though one day I will find it hard to remember all those little things, and one day forget them. I am so insecure at this thought.

But then I also think about all those Mum's who aren't as privledged as me to even have a camera of a phone camera to take a photo every day. I should feel lucky but I don't. I want to have more photo's of Eleanor just being Eleanor. The weird faces, rolling over etc. I feel like just setting camera's up all over the house and videoing her everyday for the rest of her life, so I never forget. But that's just creepy.

Do we loose these memories? Honestly..

Do they become hard to remember?

I can't even remember 100% what she looked like as a newborn until I look at photo's and realise how small she was. She is still small, only being 6 months old, but she is also very different, and bigger.

I lost memories from the c-section. That is hard to come to terms with in itself, and makes it very hard for me to comprehend taking time away from Eleanor, and loosing more memories. It needs to happen though at some point. Kindergarten, School etc.

So my question is, how do you deal with that feeling?

And my answer is, nothing. But all you Mum's who feel the same way aren't alone. As you baby grows older, life will become demanding. Just remember to take photo's of the precious things in life, but just know that they need to grow too, just like your Mum let you. My biggest advice would be to get a hobby :)

And as a Mum, as they grow and want new things in life, your needs, will and acceptance will grow with them. It's daunting to me now, but I know in the end it will all be okay as well will grow together and sometimes apart.

If you have any advice on this, please feel free to share it.