A fine line between right and wrong

Last night was a hard night for everyone. Both children are still coming to terms with the fact there will be another baby in only 11 weeks approximately.

I dont blame them for anything. I dont blame anyone. At the moment they are hurting and I have no clue how to help at this point. It's hard to help a person who has no clue how to feel about things themselves and at the moment we are making do.

Things are changing in our house. We have so much stuff for the new baby, and that is what is setting off the out bursts.

I cant hide it from them, that is unfair and then they wont adapt properly. But at the same time its unfair to everyone having it out as little hands go wondering and things break.

Last night was the first night the night the kids were back from their Mum's for the week. The house had changed a lot and they weren't here to see it.

I had my new rocking chair, new change table, and new stroller. They felt a bit left out, which I knew would happen so my great mind planned ahead. I brought them new clothes to show that even though Elle may have things, they do too. They are still apreciated. They are still thought about and cared for.

What happened last night was a bit of blame on everyone. I am not over exaggerating but within 3 minutes of arriving home after going shopping with grandma and grandpa, the new stroller was broken.

Their excuse was, "Mum told us to" "Mum said your not having a baby anymore so we can break the stuff"

That is the hard part. I can't believe them but at the same time I can. No way will I let them believe that their Mum is a bad person when everyone in the world is god's gift. At the same time though, they still need to be told the difference between right and wrong which is a very fine faint line for them at the moment.

How does something like that be handled with? I have no idea. I did not deal with what was said, but instead dealt with the problem. I cannot be a negative role model, I cannot be the one who puts another person down. I wasn't there to know if it was said or not, so in no way was I to deal with that.

Step-parenting is hard. Harder than anything but worth it. There is never a right or wrong answer to a situation. You can only do right by the kids. Deal with the situations maturely and not let the kids blaming the other parent become the focus of the discipline. If you do, it will forever become their excuse. They wont know the difference between right and wrong, the blame of all their own actions will be in the hands of someone else, and that is teaching them to not take responsibility for their actions. Which is a valuable lesson in life to know what is your mistakes and admit wrong doing. A lesson I was taught, and a lot of kids and people dont have in the world.

The kids have been through a lot of turmoil in the life and I refuse to be a person sho continues it. Every day I learn as I go, I have learnt a very different style of parenting to a normal everyday parent. My style of parenting isn't hostile, and a lot of communication and appropriate discipline is dealt. Communication is a very big key to effective parenting. Communication and trust building unfortunately need to worked on with my kids.

From what they tell me, to how they respond to what they tell me. I know when they lie, and I know when they tell me the truth. It just hurts me to know that the truth they have told me, the hurt isnt prevented 50% of the time.

If you are a step-parent like me, and deal with the same type of situation regularly. I would love to know how you deal with it. It's a controversial topic, something that some may only speak about anonymously. I dont mind if you do because at the end of the day, all we can do is support each other. Step-parents tend to go unrecognised for their presence in a childs life. We deserve it to. So don't be afraid to speak up. Im trying to fight for step-parents skills to be recognised and to be supported as well.